Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness, and effort on the part of both parties to thrive. Relationships are not always fair. People have prejudices and expectations that aren’t always open to change. If you feel you are being treated unfairly, don’t get mad but ask why and learn from the experience. Don’t make the mistake of believing you’re alone in your difficulties. There are many people who have had similar difficulties and have survived.
To get better is to have a better understanding of what makes good relationships and what they do to you. Learn to recognize when a relationship is not working, what needs to be improved and what help you will need.
A good relationship is mutually beneficial. It allows both people to do what they do best, provide security and stability so you can concentrate on yourself and become the best you can be.
There are 2 steps to understanding good relationships and how they affect you.
Step One: Acceptance
Acceptance means you see things as they are. Accepting your partner, your partner’s behavior, their past behavior. The only way to be able to accept your partner for who they are is to see things as they are. Only with this insight can we go on to develop forgiveness.
The first step is to accept everything about your partner. Everything. The things that make them different and their behavior. You are not able to change these characteristics and behaviors. You are not able to be someone you are not. You can’t change your partner.
Step Two: Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the act of feeling compassion for your partner and feeling empathy for your partner’s behavior. Empathy is more intense than compassion and more powerful.
This is not compassion. Forgiveness is seeing things as they are, accepting your partner, and understanding why they behave the way they do. It’s not about why they are behaving as they do. This is a step beyond empathy. This is understanding. This is where true compassion comes from.
To understand your partner is to have compassion. To understand someone else is to be compassionate. To empathize is to feel compassion. To love your partner is to understand your partner. If you don’t understand your partner, how can you love your partner?
To be understanding is to be compassionate. To love your partner is to have empathy.
